Laugh a little
We all receive jokes by email, but I've found a very large collection of Jewish jokes at a website called aWordInYourEye.com. That website's creator, David Minkoff, has given permission for jokes on his website to be reproduced here.
Unless otherwise stated, all content shown here is:
From www.awordinyoureye.com. Copyright © 2001-2017 David Minkoff
The car accident
One day, as Isaac Levy is driving home, a truck crashes into his car. He’s very lucky and suffers only moderate injuries. Nevertheless, he’s off work for two months. As a result, he contacts a Personal Injury lawyer who, after hearing the details, recommends that Isaac take the truck driver to court for dangerous driving. Isaac agrees.
A few weeks later, Isaac arrives in Court and soon he’s in the witness box answering questions thrown at him by the truck driver’s very aggressive defence lawyer.
"Mr Levy," asks the lawyer, "did you or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
"Vell, I'll tell you exactly vot happened at the scene of the accident," replies Isaac. "I had only just put my dog Cindy into the --"
"Mr Levy," interrupts the lawyer, "I didn't ask you for any details. All I need from you is a simple answer to my question - did you or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine, thank you, I’m fine'?"
"Vell," replies Isaac, "as I vas saying, I just got mine Cindy into my car and vas driving down the road ven --"
"Mr Levy!" Once again the lawyer interrupts Isaac. This time, the lawyer turns to the judge and says, "Your Honour, I’m trying to establish an important fact. This man told the Police Officer at the scene of the accident that he was just fine. Now he’s trying to sue my client. I believe, your Honour, that Mr Levy is a liar. Please tell him to simply answer my question."
But the Judge is now interested in Isaac's reply and says to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what Mr Levy has to say about his dog Cindy."
On hearing this, Isaac continues, "Vell, like I vas saying, your Lordship, I put mine Cindy, mine vunderful, friendly Cindy, into the car and drove off. But within minutes, a large truck vent across a red light and crashed into my car. I vas trapped by mine legs and vas in pain. Den I heard mine Cindy moaning and whimpering. Oy, it vas the vorst sound I haf ever heard and I knew she vas seriously hurt. Then the police arrived. Vun of them heard mine lovely Cindy whimpering so he vent over to her, saw vat terrible condition she vas in, took out his gun and shoots mine Cindy dead. Den the policeman walks over to me in my car and I see he’s still holding his gun. He looks at me and says, ‘How are you feeling?’ So nu, your Lordship, vat vould you haf said?"