Laugh a little
What your grandmother told you
There are some very important lessons you can learn from your grandmother. Here are but a few:
- If you can't say something nice, say it in Yiddish.
- If you don't eat, it will kill me.
- Never take a front-row seat at a bris.
- Always whisper the names of diseases.
- Without Jewish mothers, who would need therapy?
- If it tastes good, it's probably not kosher.
- Why spoil a good meal with a big tip?
- Twenty percent off is a bargain; fifty percent off is a mitzvah.
- Wine needs to breathe so don't rush through the kiddish.
- Never pay retail.
- No one leaves a simcha hungry; but then no one leaves with a hangover.
- And what's so wrong with dry turkey?
- Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.
- Where there's smoke, there may be smoked salmon.
- Next year in Jerusalem. The year after that, how about a nice cruise?
- A shmata is a dress that your husband's ex is wearing.